How to stay together while apart

As I was getting ready this morning, I began thinking about what exactly holds couples together through our many times apart. A lot of characteristics and skills started running through my head like communication, patience, understanding.  I kept coming back to one thing... commitment.

Commitment is key.

Not saying those other things are not important. They are... necessary even! But, without dedication to each other and to the relationship, which you gave to each other when you first started out, the road to relational success will be extremely difficult if not darn near impossible.

Commitment keeps you going through all kinds of things. There were times where my wife and I were doubtful that we would last, where we would get on each others' last nerves. We stayed committed to not letting go of us, sticking it out through whatever life threw at us. We are a team.

I guess you could liken it to stubbornness against relationship failure. Commitment means both parties giving yourselves, your whole self, to the relationship. Loyalty. Sometimes it may seem that the other party is not giving as much due to an outside commitment. That's when the team has to support one person's activities outside the family unit. For a season, that may mean one side gets most of the support while the other side does the supporting. Or maybe both sides need to spend a little pouring back in to the relationship.

Committing to making a relationship work will build a fortress around it to withstand any storm, particularly while separated.  My wife and I have committed ourselves to our relationship from the beginning and have weathered some pretty rough and dry times. Because we knew that we were both devoted to the success of our relationship, it gave us the stability to endure.

As a side note, we do understand that all relationships are different and sometimes there are unique and extenuating circumstances surrounding people's lives. These are general principles that have proven to work in our relationship and those of many folks we've encountered.